Speed Review: The Advanced Guard (aka The Colony) (1998) - Rated-R For Really False Advertising March 8, 2019 13:54

Uncle Phil abducted by aliens

A team of giant insect aliens arrive to Earth on a mission to scout out the usefulness of the human species before their fleet arrives to takeover the planet.  They have three days to figure out how to telepathically control the humans into becoming their slaves or else they will resort to wiping out the species and siphoning Earth's resources.  To do this they transfer their consciousness into artificial human beings, transport down to the planet and retrieve four humans to run a series of tests on.  What they fail to account for is the natural human response of survival and that by provoking them they have no chance in discovering the key to controlling them.

Jennifer O'Dell nude Terminator style

The Advanced Guard is your typical Sci-Fi Channel film (before they became "hip" and started calling themselves Syfy).  There's nothing special here, it's mediocre at best, and the most noteworthy feature is they managed to sucker James Avery (Uncle Phil from The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air) to join the cast as the most accomplished actor.  The film must have failed so badly on TV, that for it's video release they opted to trickery by changing the title to The Colony, mocked up a fake Terminator style image for the front cover with a hot blonde, and spliced three separate scenes of Jennifer O'Dell (of The Lost World TV show fame) topless, oiled up and caressing herself in some sort of telepathic alien dream. 

Jennifer O'Dell nude

Considering the film opens with one of these "dream" style dreams one would suspect it actually fits into the film's plot, but it doesn't. To add insult to injury Jennifer O'Dell makes no appearance in the actual story-line of the film, making these quite possibly the most obligatory nude scenes ever devised and clearly an after-the-fact addition.  Along with the other bogus changes it's clear these were thrown in to get an R-rating and sell DVD's as the film would have been PG if it wasn't for them.  But it seems to work because you end up watching the entire film waiting for some explanation or appearance from Jennifer O'Dell, which you never get.

4/10


Related Posts

Fright Night (1985) My Next Door Neighbor Is A Blood Sucking Creep!
Fright Night (1985) My Next Door Neighbor Is A Blood Sucking Creep!
Charley Brewster, a horror film aficionado, suspects that his neighbor is a vampire. While his family and friends bel...
Read More
Waxwork (1988) Wax On, Wax Off
Waxwork (1988) Wax On, Wax Off
Since the birth of film, the mysterious fantasies regarding wax museums have always been a tantalizing subject matter...
Read More
Totally Blonde (2001) So Blonde It's Good
Totally Blonde (2001) So Blonde It's Good
Meg Peters (Krista Allen) is tired of the revolving door her dating life has become, she even has a wall in her apart...
Read More